But I forgot what it was. Instead, i'll tell you about how horrible traffic is in Savannah at rush hour.
I live six and a half miles from work. It takes me an average of 30 minutes to drive to work in the morning, slightly less time on Fridays, when apparently no one goes into downtown or everyone is running later than usual.
The drive to work is slowed by the four school zones (25 mph) on my route to work, and on a bad day I might get stuck behind a bus.
The drive home from work is closer to 45 minutes. There are no school buses or school zones at that hour... but there seem to be plenty of other "factors" slowing me down.
By "factors" I mean people who apparently don't read the road signs. I drive down White Bluff Road, and approaching Abercorn there is a right turn only lane that is clearly marked "Right lane traffic keep moving" because that lane turns into its own lane after the turn. You don't have to do anything but keep moving, but inevitably someone (or everyone) stops like it's a normal right turn.
Another factor is what I assume to be a Southern Tradition of leaving a large bubble of space around your vehicle. People here mostly drive Large American Cars (Oldsmobuicks) or some of the younger hipper generation drive Urban Assault Vehicles. There seems to be some understanding that if you are driving one of these automobiles you do not pull within a car length of the person in front of you. Also, if the person in front of you is driving one of these vehicles, you do not pull right up to their bumper.
Allow me to illustrate the point.
Cars A, B, C, and D come to a stop at a traffic signal.
If Car A is an LAC/UAV and Car B is not, there will be one car length between them:
A_B
If Car C is an LAC/UAV, there will be one car length between cars B and C.
A_B_C
If Car D is also an LAC/UAV, there will be two car lengths between cars C and D.
A_B_C__D
This means that 8 car lengths will be taken up by four cars. Hence, if all of the cars A-D are LAC/UAVs, there will be space for 10 cars taken up by four.
ABCD
vs.
A__B__C__D
Since more than half of the population of the Peach State (or whatever fruity nickname it has) drive LAC/UAVs, chances are above average that this final scenario will occur. And, just because only four cars fit themselves into that space doesn't mean that 6 others shouldn't try. As many as possible of those six people will pull into an intersection and stop, causing gridlock.
All this to say that if everyone just drove normally like normal non-Southerners, we could all get home a lot faster.
Nov.18.03 at 6:54 PM
Mom writes:
Ah, roadrage!
They're all just good ol' boys taking their time doin' their tthing. Remember what Judy said about southerners: "They do things differently in the soung, if at all." This is surely a prime example of that sentiment.
But, you're home and you updated your site!! Maybe you'll thnk of something clever next time.
Dan writes:
Ahhhh, thanks for reminding me of the joys of living and working in a rural area. I'm 17 miles from work and the trip takes 21 minutes door to door. That's from locking my front door, to starting the car, driving the 17 miles, parking the car and walking to my office door!
Love the little ABC descriptive aids :-)
tim writes:
If you have two lanes and happen to pull up next to a space left between these LAC/UAVs you should parallel park between them and show them how much space they actually have.
I am always tempted to do this to Old PeopleĀ as they are the most likely to leave 2 car lengths between them and the next car.
Athena writes:
That's the best idea I've heard ALL DAY! Brilliant! :)
AVERAGE JOE writes:
Do the Good Folks of Savannah pull the typical Southern stunt of happily waving another car to turn in front of them, even though the waving idiot has the right of way? That's my favorite. I'm not talking about basic courtesy, I'm talking about halting traffic flow on a major thoroughfare and gumming up the works just so somebody can turn left into a QuikTrip.
tim writes:
*shudders*
I hate people who do that. If someone even did that -for- me, I would want to get out of my car and beat the crap out of them for being an idiot.
Dan writes:
I've often fantasized that I would like to pull people from their vehicles (usually cowboys in 'dualies') and beat on them for dumb/rude driving. I would berate and pummel them, punctuating each word with a punch (punch-uating).
After watching "Hulk" this weekend, then having a duallie pass me on a bridge as we approached stopped cars and flashing lights, I decided that if I had the altered 'hulk' genes, I would become "Traffic Enforcement Hulk" and live out those fantasies!
Mom writes:
The men in my family fantasize about having a hummer with a large gun on the front for just blowing those people off the road, period. ;)
Ma' writes:
After being run over from behind about 5 times, I have wanted the tank with the gun pointing BACKWARDS!!! So, I kinda LIKE it when people keep didtance between vehicles. It HURTS A LOT when you get whiplashed, for real!
tim writes:
Well after seeing Blackhawk Down I hope the men in your family realize their folly.
Having a machine gun atop your Hummer just increases the amount of missle attraction the vehicle has. And usually from directions the gun doesn't traverse.
Traffic enforcement Hulk nothing, a former friend had a fantasy of possessing the super ability of flipping cars over by pointing at them. Extremely limited in scope as it only works on cars, but highly satisfying :)
As another friend once told me, "Of all the people I'm glad are not God I am relieved the most that you are not, because I couldn't imagine a more fickle and vengeful God than you." The movie Tim Almighty would be an interesting one.
Dan writes:
Is there a name for the phenomenon of not noticing something until someone brings it up?
In over 40 years in the south, I'd never seen the behavior AVERAGE JOE describes - that is until this morning.
The entrance to work is off a major 4 lane highway with a dedicated left turn median and a striped right turn lane on the paved shoulder. I approached, as usual, this morning in the median preparing to make my left turn and timing it so I would slip in behind the car coming from the opposite direction in the right turn lane when that car stopped, it's driver frantically waved for me to abandon all I've ever learned along with 37 years of driving experience and assume the right-of-way. That's a lot of inertia to overcome, so I waited with a fender in the on-coming lane (my timing had been disrupted), for the driver to do as I expected, then proceeded.
I'd like to believe that I reinforced the tradional concept of "right-of-way" and that in so doing restored order to the universe. I'm sure chaos will reign again on the drive home, though.
AVERAGE JOE writes:
Ooops, sorry Dan. :}
Isn't that the most disconcerting feeling? Makes you wish you had a sign to stick out the window that says "Thank you, you dear kind soul, now please just take the right-of-way and get out of my way, you silly ninny."
Not to belabor the point, but I think that's a basic distinction between the North and the South. In the North, taking your turn quickly and efficiently and getting out of the way is your Public Duty. Be prepared and don't gum up the works, and you'll make friends. In the South, we're all about showier displays and being outwardly "giving" to somebody, even if you have to make a pain in the ass of yourself. :}
Mom writes:
You've managed to identify a particular instance when a particular group of drivers uniformly does something different, but somewhat consistent.
In California, all bets are off. There's no telling what a driver is likely to do. After all, we have probably a million drivers out there without driver's licenses. They've all been driving their Ford pickup truck forever out in the boondocks; now they're driving here. And they're uninsured!!!
phil writes:
That's what makes driving in California so great. You can't assume anything about other drivers. In fact, it's better if you assume that they're going to muck things up for you. Then you can get around them. =)
AVERAGE JOE writes:
I think Californians are pretty good drivers. They have to be just to survive. I mean, most of them drive aggressively and like a bat outta hell, but they're not clueless idiots like Okies.
Ma' writes:
As a matter of fact...I've only been rammed from behind in small east texas towns, and one fender bender during the Christmas rush at a HoustonMall, trying to get out of the parking lot! SO...Even though the city rush is nerve whacking...driving in small towns semms to be far more dangerous!