A couple of weeks ago now I was getting ready for bed... innocently brushing my teeth at the sink in the master bedroom. I finished and started to turn off the light to go to bed when...

out of the corner of my eye...

I saw the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen that wasn't a tarantula.

I just about fainted at this point, because I really hate spiders, and I had been standing within spider-jumping-distance of this one.

Kris came over to see what was the matter, and all I could do was point. It was such a big spider that he took pictures, getting much closer to the beastie than made me comfortable.

All I could envision was this spider taking a flying leap onto his face, but Kris just got closer and closer to it with the camera.

When he finally relented with the camera, he went to kill it, but of course he MISSED and it retreated under the lip of the formica counter top.

I went on a search for Raid Ant & Roach spray (which kills spiders too) and returned so that he could spray the hell out of it.

We never saw the spider again, and can only imagine it's dead. Probably curled up in a little tangle of legs for me to find one day when we move out of this apartment.

So when the spider killing ordeal was over, I was pretty wound up. It was already after midnight when I first spotted the spider. I crawled into bed after checking everywhere for spiders.

I turned over on my side, and out of the corner of my eye my brain turned a shadow on my pillowcase into the gangly legs of another spider. I just about jumped out of my skin.

It was quite a while before I could get to sleep that night.

And it's been quite a while until I could even retell the story.